In the Pursuit of Mastery or Passion
To what extent do you pursue mastery more than you pursue passion? The first time I heard this question was in a 6-week program, Juicy Online Marketing Essentials Bootcamp that Lisa Cherney and Michele PW led. http://www.juicyonlinemarketing.com/bootcamp/
In answering the question, I realized that for too many years I had been pursuing mastery more than pursuing my passion. In some ways, I still am. I am an avid learner and can easily get caught up in learning more and more and more on the road to mastering skills and “requirements” for being a small business owner.
Even more than learning and mastering skills, I love mastering my mindset and inspiring clients to master theirs. The benefits of mindset mastery are magnificent and manifold.
Pursuing mastery can get in the way of pursuing passion. It has for me. I grew up believing that mastery and perfection were requirements for any undertaking. Good enough (http://right-line.com/blog/2010/06) was merely acceptable.
My parents were high achievers, Mom as a life-long learner; Dad as salesperson. Both were brilliant in their pursuits. Dad, who died 25 years ago, was passionate about his work. His love for it was a blessing. Mom, with her early dementia, is still passionate about learning, yet doesn’t care too much about perfection anymore. Now the stronger memories are of the passion my Dad had for his work and the passion my Mom still has for learning.
As I and my business coaching clients continue to evolve, we are being the best we can be, which does not necessarily equal mastery or perfection. By no means do we shirk from improving and growing. We are doing so simply by pursuing our passion~mine for inspiring action and living with ease while getting more done, having more fun and making more profits. We are achieving mastery through pursuing our passions.
Pursuit of mastery can be exhausting while pursuit of passion is exhilarating. The body is more fully alive and engaged in pursuit of passion. Pursuit of passion outlives pursuit of mastery. Profit from pursuing passion. Reach mastery as a result.
Transformation of an Oops to an Aha
With great excitement, at the end of September I had a business strategy meeting with my manager. At the meeting we began outlining 2011 business activities, which included scheduling and promoting a series on my 7-step unique branded system, which is based on my Action Based Communication™ (ABC) methodology. I created the acronym for the actual UBS as a participant in Lisa Sasevich’s June 2010 Speak to Sell Bootcamp.
A few weeks later in her Big Mission program, Lisa again talked about unique branded system. I had my notes from June, and after reviewing them and counting on my fingers several times, I let out first with a huge gasp and then with an, “Oh no, I can’t believe it.” I had been developing the 7-Part ACCEPT Formula, a name I tested with attendees in June. Alas, the formula had only six parts. Then I started laughing and laughing, quietly enough not to disturb any seatmates. I was having a good time and still do every time I think about how far I had moved and how close I had come to releasing ACCEPT. What a hoot of an oops. What a delight of an aha.
Within 10 minutes I had the new acronym. The letters A, C, and E were essential to retain, and in that order. The Aha: ACCEPT lacked the energy and didn’t accurately reflect my message, mission, the ABC methodology or who I am. ACCEPT is passive.
The new acronym, ACE IT, is perfect. ACE IT carries the energy of inspiring action that I fully embody and presents a clear image of ease and success. ACE IT so fits the declaration and commitment I made at the end of September—live the big easy now.
The oops of ACCEPT had to be there so I could transform it to the aha of ACE IT!
Where in your business can you transform an Oops to an Aha?
Got Hope or Keep the Faith
Holidays evoke a range of emotions as do personal and business challenges. Especially during the challenging times, relationships are available resources for support: relationships with others, with organizations and with yourself. Here the focus is on the relationship with yourself and words used in highly charged emotional situations. Think about challenging times you experienced. Did you hear phrases such as got hope or keep the faith or similar sentiments? Which provided the best support? Which allowed you to say, “I can get through this. I can do this.”
Let’s explore both “got hope” and “keep the faith” from the physicality perspective.
Got hope suggests going outside yourself to get hope. Got hope requires looking to others to give you hope. Physical exertion is required to get hope. Picture hope as fl
eeting and floating clouds. Hope is outer directed and may not provide the support you want and need during challenging times. And, hope is often called upon only in challenging times.
Keep the faith is inside yourself. Assume you already have faith. The only effort required is keeping it. Physical exertion is minimal to keep the faith. Picture faith as a solidly rooted tree. Faith is inner directed and can provide the support you want and need during challenging times.
Even if you don’t consider yourself as someone who believes in faith, notice the physical sensations you experience saying both phrases out loud.
Got hope I will meet the challenges. Keep the faith I will meet the challenges.
Which gives you the sense of more positive energy? Which would you rather have during personal and business challenges?
An essential principle in coaching is that we have everything we need. That whatever you need is inside you, as is faith.
“Sometimes when no other mode of transportation is available, a leap of faith is necessary.”
Honoring Memory of My Dad, My 1st Business Mentor
One quarter of a century ago today, January 8, I was sitting in my kitchen drinking champagne with a friend and colleague. That celebration endly abruptly when the phone rang. It was Mom telling me that Dad (picture from Oct 1985) had died while driving home from a sales meeting where he had announced his retirement. His death, a few weeks shy of his 69th birthday, was a shock.
I was the last family member to see my healthy-as-a-horse Dad only 4 days earlier. I had gone to talk with him about an upcoming interview for an executive director’s position with an industry sector he knew well. I was offered the position, and based on my Dad’s words and my own sense of the fit, turned it down.
So much changes in 25 years.
- The world of our family’s dynamics~We lost the more playful parent. My brothers and I related to each other and to our Mom differently, each providing her emotional support that often eclipsed our own grieving. I lost my business mentor.
- The world of governments and global relationships~Berlin wall torn down. Soviet Union dissolved. Genocide in Bosnia, Somali, Rwanda. Hong Kong returned to China. September 11, 2001. To name a but a few.
- The world of business operations~Tax law changes and the credit system. Technology and the Internet: how we communicate, keep records, manage customer relationships, conduct research and so much more.
Yet much remained the same. My values and what I learned about business from my Dad, the consummate outside salesperson who was a prince of a fellow and one of the good guys.
- Do what you love and love what you do. My Dad loved his work even though it kept him away from home during the week. He was the weekend parent giving my Mom a rest.
- Read the Wall Street Journal even if you don’t think it relates to your business
- Enjoy your customers even when they upset you
- Learn everything you can about your customers so you can talk with them about more than business
- Bring your customers small gifts throughout the year, not only at the year-end holidays
Today the gift I celebrate is the memory of my wonderful Dad. Your model guides my life and my business. Thank you. I miss you.
Retreats or Advances: What Word Works for You?
Throughout your life, I imagine like so many of us, that you have been invited to attend or have led retreats of some sort. These events are an opportunity away from the daily routine and possible distractions of everyday life at work for learning, sharing and exploring more deeply such topics as leadership, conflict management or social media marketing. Sometimes we attend retreats away from the daily activities of life at home to experience more deeply such practices as yoga.
Yes, retreats offer a place to come together, to retreat from the usual and to move away from daily concerns. Many of us leave these gatherings feeling invigorated, and take with us fresh ideas, a renewed sense of purpose, and often a greater connection with others with whom we work. We get to know others in ways we have not been able to otherwise.
Yet, what happens in your body when you hear, read or say out loud the word “retreat”? Does your upper body tilt or lean back? Do you get ever so slightly tight? Notice your energy when you talk about a retreat. When we retreat we are moving away.
What would it be like if the next time you were offering a special day or weekend away program for your business coaching clients or life coaching clients you announced your event as an advance?
- Leadership Advance
- Yoga Advance
- Spiritual Advance
- Couples Communication Advance
Check out your body when you hear, read or say out loud the word “advance”. Your body automatically moves forward. Test making the shift as frequently as you can. At first you might experience discomfort offering programs as advances (e.g., Special One Day Words that Work Advance). After your first advance notice your energy as you talk about the positive outcomes of the time away. When we advance we are moving toward something.
As you speak and live out loud, make a difference. Create a rich community. Be like the kangaroo or rhinocerous, both can only walk forward. Rather than hold or sponsor a Retreat, hold or sponsor an Advance.
Yessence: A New Word that Works
Sometime during the 1990s I began making up words that I sensed belonged in our everyday vocabulary. Of made up words, google is most likely the most noticeably recognized one used as a part of speech.
Today’s world of instant, almost infinite information that Google provides presents a readily available opportunity to search for information. In addition to searching for information, some of us search deeper and deeper for meaning that, at first, may not seem so readily available. We search for how we can be of greater service and make a lasting difference.
In my search, I benefited from colleagues and mentors. Adela Rubio inspired Yessence through her energy conscious business mastery. Suzanne Evans and confirmed the need for Yessence through her shift from marketing to movement message: Decide. Lisa Cherney gave life to Yessence through the benefits of the benefits part of her conscious marketing.
From working with these thought leaders, as I gained greater clarity about my purpose, Yessence emerged as a word that works. What is Yessence?
- Yessence is saying yes to your essence; saying yes to your core; saying yes to your authentic self.
- Yessence is saying yes to your world; saying yes to your past and to your now and to your future.
- Yessence is saying yes to making a difference.
Imagine creating a community around Yessence. Explore adding Yessence to your business coaching, life coaching and group coaching vocabulary.
Consider the senses of Yessence:
- Sight—See the pink and gold iridescent colors of Yessence
- Sound—Hear the do-re-mi-fa-so-la-ti-do song of Yessence
- Smell—Breathe in the sweet, musky, earthy scent of Yessence
- Taste—Savor the spicy, exotic curry of Yessence
- Touch—Feel the fresh, air dried cotton, the smooth silk of Yessence
- Kinesthetic—Move with the full embodiment of Yessence
Ouch! The Pain Blame Cycle
What is your first reaction when someone says or does something that hurts? After “Ouch,” that is. The pain could be from the slip of the tongue or the slip of a hammer. Some of us might jump to blaming someone or something else. Maybe we would not for mere carelessness with words or household tools; however, what do we do in the face of life changing events when the pain can be much deeper?
- Failed relationships
- Lost job or client
- Loss of health
At first, and maybe even for a period of time, you blame your pain on someone or something outside yourself. This can certainly seem much easier in the short run. You blame—
- Other person for ignoring you or in some way failing to do what you consider necessary to maintain a relationship
- Employer for not managing its money well enough to keep you on the job
- Client for not following through with an action plan
- Environment for your illness
After some time has passed you seek and get help from a counselor, clergy, coach or other trusted person. Through working with another person your pain dulls and them BAM, your pain comes back sharply. What do you do? You blame the helper.
From engaging with business coaching clients I’ve come to recognize what I call the Pain Blame Cycle:
Often the client’s pain is the result of someone else breaching boundaries or the client not honoring his or her boundaries. Personal rather than societal boundaries are imaginary lines we draw around ourselves to protect us from other people harming us. These boundaries relate to someone or something we perceive or experience invading or violating our physical body, our space, our time, our energy, and our values.
Blame can seem oh so righteous. This is often the case when I first work with a client. We work through the Pain Blame Cycle so that blame no longer gets in the way of Yes.
Passing the Plate: An Energy Exchange
Passing the plate relates to exchanging energy in the form of money—we give to others to support them. Traditionally, giving by passing the plate is done in houses of worship and often carries a spiritual as well as monetary message. Money energy is spiritual energy.
In fact, everything is energy. When passing the plate in houses of worship the energy takes the form of money that is visible. I experienced an energy exchange from passing the plate in a non-traditional way.
Rather than receiving money from passing the plate that supports life for others, I received life’s memories. In this case, energy was in the form of a set of plates, one of which is shown. 
In late March Mom moved to an assisted living facility where she is enjoying life with her bedroom furniture and photographs and pictures. Last week was time to clear the rest of her house of 51 years to get it ready for sale. Seven of us (brothers, sisters-in-law, niece and nephew) had fun, most of the time, going through truckloads of belongings. Even though my Mom had saved a lot, she was extremely organized, making our lives easier, so much so that we cleared and cleaned and staged 2500 square feet of living space, plus an attic, recreation room, laundry room, storage room, garage and garage closet in 2.5 days.
Among the treasures we discovered were Mom’s grade school report cards, my grandfather’s silk top hat and an ethical will. My daily treasure is using the plates (shown) for breakfast or fruit, exactly as Mom did during the 4 years she had home health aides. When I shared with Mom that I use the plates in exactly the same way she did, she was delighted that I was getting pleasure. In some way she sensed the energy connection. Passing these plates is a spiritual energy exchange directly with my Mom.
In what ways you can pass the plate literally or figuratively for an energy exchange?
What Do Your Hands Say? What Does Your Voice Hold?
Offering another view of words that work without words: What do your hands say? What does your voice hold?
Our hands and voice are our earliest, most reliable and effective instruments for connecting. Usually we think we talk with our voices and use our hands for holding. Recent Facebook postings of Tonya K. Freeman and Bill Pinder inspired me to think differently about the multiple uses for hands and voice.
As words create connections, so to do hands create connection. Hands speak and connect through creation: the Pyramids, early forms of transportation and housing, tools, and artwork in myriad media.
Examples of hands being instruments for connecting:
- Hands shake to say welcome to others
- Hands massage to say, “I am providing comfort and relief from pain”
- Hands touch people with dementia who have difficulty connecting to say, “I am here” even though the person does not know you or remember who you are
- Hands touch people who are afraid to say, “You are safe”
- Hands hold people who are dying to say, “Thank you for being in this world,” and to ease the transition into another world
- Hands speak through American Sign Language
Our voice holds much, more than we sometimes imagine.
- Voice holds promise
- Voice holds the power to heal without words through chanting
- Voice holds fear and shock
Communication and connection are essential to business coaching and life coaching and organizational consulting. Thanks to Tonya and Bill I will be exploring how to integrate what your hands say and what your voice holds in my work.
Have some fun and explore reframing the uses of your hands and voice.
- In what ways do you use hands to talk?
- How do you use your voice to hold?
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