Words that Work

Posts Tagged ‘trust’

April is the month of my birth and in the last 2 years rather than celebrate myself I have been honoring others, both personally and professionally. As we close out the month I honor those who brought me into the world and brought me up in the world. I have learned much from my parents who taught best by honoring who they were. Even though my father has been dead for almost 25 years I still reach out to him and honor wishes he requested many decades ago.

In the past 4 years, honoring my Dad’s wish to take the best care of my Mom has provided my richest learning and given me a much deeper understanding of the honor system than I ever imagined. Honoring my Mom’s wishes for how she wanted to be cared for was quite the challenge. I’ve shared some of those challenges in earlier blog posts.

By continuing to honor my parents wishes that when Mom could no longer take care of herself she have 24/7 aides while still living in her house, I was no longer honoring my Mom’s well being or honoring myself as her care manager. The roving band of 20 aides gave new meaning to the word caretaker. They took much more than they ever gave—stole physical items and abused property and my Mom. Only 3 deserved to be called caregivers.

After much research and preparation and getting my Mom’s commitment to and then fierce resistance and finally refusal for a 3-month trial—that began at the end of March—she has blossomed in assisted living. She has developed trust and is building relationships.

In building a great relationship, whether it’s with your business, your family or even yourself, a Code of Honor~~Honor System~~brings out the best from all involved.

As in your personal life, in business best results come when you have an honor system.  The business Code of Honor is based on trust, integrity, and honesty. The way you conduct your business affects the lives of many others as well as your own.

In business the honor system gives a more welcoming feeling to customers. Those who are treated with honesty, trust and integrity are more likely to return to your business, whether on line or in person, which in turn increases the amount of business you do. It’s a win-win for all.

There are so many ways to honor and as this month comes to an end the highest honor and best birthday gift is that Mom decided on her own to make her temporary home a permanent one, less than 1 month into her trial. She is living well and once again claiming, “I am enjoying my old age.” My Dad’s wish that I take the best care of my Mom has been realized.

Do you use hope as a strategy to get the results you want? Think about how much of your work life you spend hoping the prospective client will sign up to work with you. The position for which you are being considered will be offered? That things will work out? Is hope a word that works in business?

“I hope things work out,” is a sentence I hear frequently from coaching clients, who early on in our coaching relationship relied on hope as a business strategy.

Professional in Career Transition—Some of the coaching was around interviews in a job search. My client had been searching for many months without success and beginning to feel desperate. During one coaching conversation about an upcoming interview, the client offered, “I hope things will turn out OK.” I asked her to explore how she experienced herself saying hope, and she responded, “Weak.” By describing how she was sitting with her shoulders bent forward and her eyes looking slightly down she was able to get a deeper sense of how hope was not a word that worked. Through reframing talking about interviews to, “I trust things will turn out OK,” the client experienced herself more positively and within three months had two job offers.

Small Business Owner—Some of the coaching was about severing a business relationship with her most demanding client that she continued to hope would work out. My client did not get paid on time and when she was paid, she received only partial payment. She was doubtful about ever getting paid in full. Yet, she maintained the relationship because she continued hoping for both payment and for “big money” clients this partially paying client promised. My client was overwhelmed, uncomfortable, not aligned with her values, and unable to focus on her prompt, fully paying clients. When I asked her to describe how the word hope was working for her from the purely physical aspects, she said, “My shoulders and neck hurt, my throat feels tight, I have a heavy weight on my back. I am walking in mud.”

If you hope to get clients, a job, sell a product or that things will work out, you are wasting your time. Check out what physically happens when you hope. What shape is your body in? Are your head, neck, and shoulders aligned? How does your throat feel when you speak the word hope out loud? How solid do your feet feel touching the floor? What energy vibrations do you sense when you use hope as a business strategy?

Hope is definitely a word that works in settings other than business and sometimes is the best and only strategy.

While hope may be a campaign strategy that helps win an election, hope does not win the vote of clients, customers or employers. As a business strategy, hope is a word that does not work. In business, replace hope with expect to get positive results.